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I have a problem with a guy I like and his porn habits. The problem is I used to be his porn.

I was innocently browsing the personal ads on Craigslist and saw one from a dude who was looking to try "saline balls." Having no idea what this was, I Googled it. Even worse, I Google-imaged it. I pride myself on being unshockable, but I was utterly mortified at what I saw. And my copious Internet searching failed to yield the answers to the most important questions: (1) What is the procedure for salining one's balls? (2) What about it turns on the saliner/salinee? (3) How long does the effect last? (4) Can it be irreversible?

Completely Utterly Mortified

"The technical name for what CUM is asking about is 'scrotal inflation,'" says Dart, a leatherman, BDSM/kink educator and host of the Dart's Domain podcast. "It's a type of body-modification play where the scrotum is infused with approximately 500 milliliters to one liter of saline solution via an IV/cannula drip, which results in the balls appearing to have enlarged to the size of a pair of grapefruits."

Saline is simply salt water, and sterile saline solutions are administered intravenously to dehydrated patients so that they don't, you know, die. Some people engage in recreational saline play. But they're not putting saline in their balls, they're putting saline in their ball sacks.

"The skin of the sack has a great deal of elasticity and can safely stretch to this large size without incurring damage," says Dart. 

"While this is a more extreme form of kink play, if done under sterile conditions with hospital-grade materials, it can be accomplished with a minimal risk," says Dart. "No one should experiment with scrotal inflation without some experienced guidance, and no one should do it alone. Some of the risks include local infection and cellulitis, which can occur from a lack of sterility. There can also be dangerous problems if any air was present in the tubing of the IV during the infusion. But again, if proper precautions are taken, these risks can be avoided."

The inflation process takes about an hour, the effect lasts for a day or two, and the sack gradually returns to normal size as the saline is absorbed into the body. So the process is always reversible — so long as you're inflating your sack with saline and not, say, silicone, Spackle or packing peanuts. Your sack may be a little looser afterward, but you're not going to be stuck with a giant sack forever.

As for why this is a turn-on ...

"The turn-on answer varies from person to person," says Dart. "For some, there is a certain rush from temporarily modifying a part of their body to a 'monstrous' size. Others have 'medical play' fantasies. In a power-exchange setting between a dominant and a submissive, the dom may get off on 'altering' a part of the sub's body against the sub's will, while the sub may get turned on by the humiliation aspect. As I say, it's not for everyone. But many, including myself, have engaged in it safely and had a pretty fun time doing it."

Anyone who wants to see a pair of grapefruit-sized "saline balls" in action should go here: tinyurl.com/salineballs. Anyone who wants to find Dart's blog, podcast and videos should go here: www.dartsdomain.com.

I have a problem with a guy I like and his porn habits. The problem is I used to be his porn. I work part time as a cam girl. He was one of my regular customers. I came to like him as a human being, and he seemed to feel the same about me. This last summer, we actually got a chance to meet in person. It was amazing! Since then, we've continued playing online for free, because it feels unethical to charge someone who I really like. We've also tossed around the idea of another visit. So here's the problem: He's still paying other cam girls, and it makes me upset. I don't mind that he looks at porn, or that he pays for live interactive porn. There are plenty of times when he's horny but I'm asleep (we live in different time zones) or I'm at my other job, and I don't care what he does then. I feel I should be the one he plays with when we're both awake and online at the same time. But just as often, when we are both awake and online, he's busy with other cam girls. It makes me feel neglected.

Am I overreacting? Should I ask to be prioritized over porn? I don't want to insist that I have to be at the center of everything he thinks about sexually, but feeling constantly sidelined isn't OK either. And it makes me feel like a chump for not charging him anymore.

Clever Acronym Missing

Monitoring this guy's porn habits seems like a waste of time and energy, considering that he's not your boyfriend, you've met in person on only one occasion, you don't live in the same time zone, and a second meeting is just an idea that's being "tossed around." You're not in a relationship with him and, really, would you wanna be? I'm pro-porn and I'm pro-porn-cam girls, but a guy who invests the amount of time, money and emotional energy in porn that Mr. Not Your Boyfriend does, well, he hardly seems like decent relationship material.

But you've got nothing to lose — literally nothing — so ask him to prioritize you over porn, and to prioritize the free porn you're offering him over the porn he's paying for, and see what he says. If you don't like what you hear, if he doesn't feel about you the way that you feel about him, then you should start charging him again.

CONFIDENTIAL TO READERS IN THE UNITED STATES: Please vote on Nov. 6 — or before Nov. 6 — for Barack Obama. And if you're in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota or Washington State, please vote for marriage equality!

Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage.

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