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Hey kids, let's put on a show ... in high school.

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After nearly 30 years, I can't recall what it was I was supposed to "remember, remember ..." about Alan Parker's 1980 musical dramedy chronicling the fictional lives of some kids at New York City High School for Performing Arts. And now, after less than 24 hours, I can hardly remember what I saw in Kevin Tancharoen's vacuous update. A handful of teens -- aspiring dancers, actors, musicians and singers -- spend the requisite four years in high school, but really, nothing much happens. It may as well be paper dolls moving around a set. (Bebe Neuwirth, Charles S. Dutton and Kelsey Grammer, in small roles as teachers, remind us that movies that feature adults rather than winsome but one-dimensional adolescents are usually more interesting.) Each kid gets a spotlight moment -- mostly some pop singing -- though one gal does a dance that wouldn't be out of place in a gentlemen's club. That I remember.

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