Sure, the Republican candidates for president may all seem like losers, but you can still be a winner. For the next debate -- 8 p.m. Tue., Nov. 22, on CNN -- download our Republican debate Bingo cards, and get ready to turn meaningless clichés and buzzwords into victory.
There are six different Bingo cards, created by City Paper's Al Hoff, who has sat through every GOP debate this season. Using the links below, download one, two or all six!
TO PLAY: Every time a candidate -- not the moderator -- says the word in quotes listed on your card, cross off that square. Likewise if a candidate makes a reference to a category in capital letters (e.g. says "India," for ANY ASIAN COUNTRY). The middle square is a freebie: Cross it off when the first candidate says "Obama."
Mark off any five squares in a row -- vertical, horizontal or diagonal -- and that's a winning Bingo. Alternatively, the player with the most crossed-off squares at the end of the debate wins.
Bingo turns the debate into a nail-biter: Can this many Republicans talk for so long without saying "tax and spend," or mentioning their own wonderful family?
But wait, it's also educational! Playing Bingo forces you to listen to every word the candidates say. You'll never again miss a bungled reference to a Nirvana song, Rick Perry calling Americans "untrustworthy," or Ron Paul's insistence on "real money."
No need to thank us. Let the games begin!
I love Mel Packer!