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Friday, September 30, 2011

Toomey "appears" in Onion hostage-taking story

Posted By on Fri, Sep 30, 2011 at 12:16 PM

Senator Pat Toomey's Station Square office will be the site of a demonstration at noon today.The folks at One Pittsburgh intend to tell Toomey "There's work that needs to be done and we're ready to work." According to a release, the group intendes to present "photographs of places in Pittsburgh where there's work to be done -- and to remind Toomey that he was elected to create jobs, not create more giveaways for the super rich."

Whatever the ensuing events, it probably won't be as amusing as the footage found at this article at The Onion.

Under the headline "Congress Takes Group of Schoolchildren Hostage," the satirical site plays up "hostage taking" efforts perpetrated by Toomey and his GOP colleagues:

Brandishing shotguns and semiautomatic pistols, members of the 112th U.S. Congress took a class of visiting schoolchildren hostage today, barricading themselves inside the Capitol rotunda and demanding $12 trillion dollars in cash.

The targets of the satire are bipartisan -- Democratic Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is depicted wearing "a pair of black pantyhose over his head and ... firing a Beretta 9 mm handgun into the air, shouting,'Everybody down! Everybody get the fuck down!"

But it's Republican Toomey, a member of the bipartisan "supercongress" charged with deficit reduction, who appears in trumped-up footage of the standoff.

click to enlarge "Footage" from the hostage situation
  • "Footage" from the hostage situation

"Nobody move or you're all gonna die!" a voice -- jestingly ascribed to Toomey -- tells a huddled group of children. 

"I want my mommy!" one distraught child says. 

It's all in good fun ... or is it? Capitol Police have publically denied "false information" about goings-on at the Capitol, but claim to be "investigating" reports. And House leader Eric Cantor's PR flack has taken umbrage with the article on Twitter.

No word from Toomey's twitter feed thus far.  

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